What if she got pregnant?
For Guys
Surprise! She just said, “those 3 words”? Not the “I love you” words, the other ones. The “I am pregnant” words. Now what? These 3 words have literally changed your life forever. No matter the next decision your life will never be the same. If you feel overwhelmed, scared, depressed, happy, excited, confused and upset all at the same time it’s ok. That is normal. Let’s talk about your partner for a minute. How is she feeling? Imagine that telling you may be one of the hardest things she has had to do so far. She may be scared about your response, not care about your response or needing your support on what to do next. Each woman is different and faces this in her own way. She needs time and support to process the emotions she is going through and the changes that are about to happen to her body no matter what she chooses to do with the pregnancy. Her body is already and will go through several changes. If she has chosen to include you then realize your support is extremely valuable to her. If you aren’t sure what she needs. Ask her. This isn’t the time to try and guess or read her mind. Clear communication is key.
We understand that guys have many questions about what is going on as well. The number one question is always…are you sure?
You may be looking for more information to help her, or you, or both of you, on how to understand and handle this unexpected situation. Perhaps this is a great thing. Perhaps you only met up with her one night. Perhaps you have been together for a long time. Perhaps this is an inconvenient unplanned thing that has your mind swirling. Whatever side you find yourself on, we are here to help with information and counseling on options.
Here are some thoughts for consideration that may help you through this:
- Check out the pregnancy symptoms list to check what some of the common symptoms are. Although this won’t diagnose the pregnancy, it can give you an indicator of what to look for and be aware of.
- Listen. The power of a listening ear as she thinks, reads, research and processes through all of this is so important. She may want to talk, or she might not want to talk at all.
- Stability. Her body and hormones are changing. Her moods may be all over the place. Her food cravings may be all over the map as well. That being said, be solid and steady. Whatever she needs and however she reacts in the moment be a steady listening ear that stays calm as she is processing things.
- Educate yourself. There is a lot to know. Research and get information with her as she is looking at options so that you are educated as well.
- Express your feelings. This isn’t the time to play tough guy. It’s the time to be real and have real conversations. Be open and willing to share how you truly feel about her without pressuring her into any certain outcome.
- Support System. She has her tribe and you need your guys too. Find those mentors, friends, adults, and parents in your life that you can trust. Ask for their advice. They have a little more time on this earth and their perspective might be helpful as you support her and you both talk through your options.
Becoming a dad can be scary and especially when it is unexpected. HOPE Clinic can help. We have classes specifically designed for you, the dad! We have men that can help you through this process in our “Man Up Classes”. These are free classes for you to guide you as to become a Daddy. Call us at 270-527-4111 for our Benton office or 270-601-5075 for our Eddyville office.